Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Wife Goes On

Yesterday Madame x got a long overdue pedicure... as she sat in a giant vibrating chair, her feet immersed in warm swirling water,she looked at the bottle of nail polish clutched in her hand and noticed the color she selected was called:

---- 'wife goes on' -----

she then drifted off to the land of idle thoughts,

Once upon another lifetime, Madame x married a handsome

young dashing charmer who happened to be a Lt. in the United States Navy. He took her away to a town full of strangers...

Madame x tried to stay busy

t.v and painting pretty pictures and
baking cookies and ironing big ole' man sized shirts

Every night when the handsome and charming young Lt. arrived home....Madame x was full of news and conversation and idle chat chat chat

The Handsome (and weary) Lt just wanted to sit in his easy chair and make the day go away

the young bride eager to share her every waking moment of her day followed him around the apartment with her constant chatter and relentless banter .... even into the bed.

One night as she was yada yada blah blahing away.... The handsome and weary Lt gently put his hand on hers and said ....Wait.!..as if he heard something (other than her)....

Mx waited
Then waited some more
Then heard a small noise that slowly grew louder.... she turned

and saw the profile of her husband gently snoring .

end of reverie

Wednesday Review.... a video

There will be Blood

A real head scratcher for Madame x-----not a video she would have purchased for herself. Yet, found it strangely thought provoking.

Madame x recommends this movie if you are in a dark mood....

the lack of opening dialogue----the symbolism and the parallels between blood and oil.

the beautifully austere costume and scenery ----

the Main Character-----a person who rejects truth, meaning, value, and the possibility of goodness in his own son and those around him, overwhelmed with greed for domination in his quest for oil.

The secondary character------a malicious preacher, in a power struggle with the main character, a struggle he will never win.

The movie is fraught with violence, fear, poverty and non redemption-----it leaves the viewer with a brutal and sadistic ending and then runs the credits to the Innocent and melodic music of Brahms Violin Concerto 3rd Movement.

Daniel Day-Lewis ------ a compelling and at times embarrassingly intense actor----truly deserving of the academy award

that was uplifting....wasn't it

Monday, May 26, 2008

We remember.......

1964.... Madame x lived in the oldest dorm on campus.... A solid ivy covered brick fortress filled with three floors of young women. There for a brief few years of her life, Madame x met and bonded with 23 women known as the "3rd floor sisterhood". This is where she met Sandy, an upper class mate, so full of energy and fun and Mischief she often made Madame x tired.... Sandy had an equally fun boyfriend named Charlie. Sandy and Charlie were the 'perfect couple'..... beautiful and privledged and open and generous and 'unprotected'. Soon Charlie's grades failed as well as his condoms. Madame x was not able to attend Charlie and Sandy's wedding but heard it was a raucous affair (indeed) lasting almost four days. Charlie was drafted four months before the now infamous tet offensive and landed in Vietnam at just about the worst time in the history of the war. Charlie was killed three weeks after his baby boy was born.

Madame x did not hear of Charlie's death for another six months....the news came in a note from Sandy's mother (responding to Madame x's own wedding invitation).
Madame x was struck by a story she heard years later during a little mini renunion of 'the 3rd floor sisterhood'.
"During Charlie's funeral service when the flag was removed from the casket by the military color guard, it was folded and given to Sandy, holding her infant son.... She held tight to the flag for a few moments clutching it to her breast. Then turned and gave the flag to Charlie's mother."
How could a young mother, so torn in her own grief, know how much that gesture would mean to her husband's mother. An amazing act of generosity and empathy. It is an exhausting story to tell because of the stark cognitive emotion for Mx. Ten years ago, on a business/pleasure trip to New York it was decided(on the spur of the moment) to take a side trip to Washington D.C. to the Vietnam Memorial..... to look up Charlie. He was there....in what seemed like the very middle of names etched in miles of wall. It was a gut wrenching experience.

Here is the disturbing part.... Right now, today, this minute, Madame x cannot recall Charlie's last name.

This is how we begin to forget......if we don't memorialize.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Who gets the next Bloggy award?

Drum Roll please

for being so darn nice....


because you care

because you lets the bunnies munch your flowers

Thursday, May 22, 2008

What She said

go here askgrandma J*
tell her Madame x sent you
tell her Madame x sez "ah shucks"
tell her Madame x also sez "thanks and back at cha"
cause when you're hot.... you're hot

get your two cents worth

If you are Delusional, psychotic, neurotic, psychopathic or confused...
Grandma J can only do so much,

The 1st ever Foolery Bloggywood awards

This is Foolery .....she started it...

Madame x will be naming more awards as soon as she climbs out of the tar pit

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Windmill tilting

When is it time to stop all the medical intervention and just love and let go?

Madame x ponders these things as she watches her father's health grow worse everyday.

She realizes now, she endured all those week-end (stomach turning) airplane rides as a little girl.... because she '''''''''just wanted to be with her Dad''''''''

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Wash Day

the Washer Machine...... in praise of

Once when Madame x said the dishwasher was her favorite electric device.... She realized , the very next day, while gathering up a weeks worth of clothes from her hamper aka: the closet floor .... she might have been mistaken.

She further realized she has come a long way from her ancestors (The Coggins clan). Those hardy folk, who climbed from straw pallets on a misty Scot morn, walk down to the lochs edge, pee, then washa washa washa soiled garments. Nor does she have to wash her clothes on Monday as the hardy pioneer women did, so that they may all be dry by Sunday for church or mumbly peg.

Mx dreds Washin' sheen Day, as her baby boy called it.... or Worshing machine as her Granny called it (she of the Coggins clan) and when it came time to purchase the FINAL Washer of her life, there was research and inquiries and looking and looking and looking to find the perfect machine to make Mx's life easier. It was decided... the LG Tromm.... not for any other reason than ..... best... price from the appliance guy.

However, Mx did not get the stands for those giant machines to rest upon. Mainly because it would be another $250.00...... the dollar was already stretched to the max.

This was a mistake....

for two years Mx has been bending and kneeling and yes, once a squat that felt like both her knees popped sideways...

So yesterday when the appliance guy delivered two beautiful brand new shiny stands (for the price of less than one....) Madame x and her aching back declared

'THE WASHER!' as her favorite electric device.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Wistful Vista.....

Madame x got some good news today and some bad news today.

While on yet another quest to find videos for her Dad.... Mx bypassed Borders

to give Best Buy a try. Mx was helped by an eager young man in a blue shirt------------>

With his help, Mx selected two westerns, a drama and (a hang on to your recliner) a Horror


Mx was pretty pleased with her selections.

Then...... as in Brigadoon.......... Mx found herself in the 'computer section', talking to another eager young man in a blue shirt.... and he was desperately trying to sell Madame x a computer. DESPERATELY Im tellin ya. Madame x was reticent and told him so....... a new computer was in her two year plan and this was just month one of her two year plan. Then he asked Mx what she mainly used her computer for... and thats when Mx got the bad news. Vista os probably wouldn't support several of her software programs

one in particular, which is a totally ed

$600.00 piece of software that Mx wouldn't know what to do without.

Whats.a.person.to.doooooo?Mx wailed.

""Well, we can still order a computer with an xp pro os, He soothed (and this is the good news). But, it would have to be soon as they are no longer being manufactured

two year plan, ditched.... new desktop computer on the horizon

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Want vs. need

Yesterday morning while tragedy was striking here and here.... Madame x received a phone call from her local (favorite) appliance pusher....who happens to be going out of business. (He has been going out of business for about six months now....) At first we were a little distressed to hear this.... we truly did have plans to remodel ye old kitchen and we like this guy (and his appliances), We wanted him to stay in business. We wanted his fair and reasonable prices.

But then we were all..... SALE! Rock bottom prices! If he was really going out of business,we thought we'd better go down and see what could be ours....cheap (for the future)... that was Six months ago, the appliance pusher wasn't quite ready to deal the good deal... Mx and Hub just said..."you have our number" and left.

Now.... let Mx just step right up here and say (loud and proud) that if you have ever remodeled a house by the 'joint spousal decision making method'. You probably are no longer joined... If you are about to begin a remodel using the 'joint spousal decision making method'.... You must get a magic marker (now!) and go around the house putting your initials on everything you want to take with you in the event of the inevitable 'messy separation'... and........ May God have mercy on your soul.

for Mx and husband, it never has been a matter of fussing over money.... More a matter of serious differences in personal style. So with malice aforethought, Mx and husband headed back to the 'going out of business sale' at the enticement of the appliance pusher.

With much give and take and sighing and heaving from Mx and then from husband of Mx and then from appliance pusher and then some more from Mx.... We scored some pretty good deals. AND husband of Mx.... dug deep into his secret (getting ready to fix up the 57 Chevy) money and paid up.

because lets face it.... You may want to fix up your old dusty car, sitting in the garage for twenty years. But you NEED a

Jade™ Dual-Fuel range, truly the best of both worlds. It allows you to sauté to perfection on a gas cooktop and brown with precision in a self-cleaning electric convection oven. Plus, it offers the largest usable oven capacity available in a cabinet-depth range. All Jade™ Dual-Fuel ranges feature a unique convection oven that constantly circulates an envelope of warm air around your food so meats emerge with a delicate brown crust while maintaining a juicy center. With both 18,000-BTU and 12,500-BTU burners and cast-iron grates, it's an excellent tool for creating a meal to remember.

Even if its just to show off your so very happenin'

Why men have to get involved in these things anyway..... Mx will never know.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I call for all you readers to take the challenge
(if you already haven't)
It's fun
Wrapped in an enigma
Yes.... Mx fell into Grandma J's challenge trap.... find a photo that best depicts the following:

What is Mx's name:

What is Mx's favorite food:











Madame x solemnly swears that these photos are untouched and obtained in a totally clandestine and stealthy manner directly and indirectly from other bloggers and/or their family members and so on and so forth.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What?.. ****update**** bottom of post

Last night as Madame x was writing a note to her brother with the tv playing in the background..... she thought she heard a female voice say

"what the f.... are you doing?

Not in a casual camaraderie sort of way. More like, really pissed with a great emphasis on the F word. Madame x looked up and saw on the tv a clip of a cruise ship in some harbor.... turning. So she looked to the door wondering if Mr. Mx was talking to someone...... no.

Mx then picked up the tivo clicker and backed it up a few clicks, and heard it again.

"What the 'f....' are you doing?"

This was not an HBO movie..... This was not a payperview movie.. This was a 30 second news tease and she obviously thought she was off the air....Mx had to call Mr. Mx to have him listen (Mr. Mx's hearing has diminished lately and now he won't admit it, but Mx thinks he is stone deaf...at least when she is talking). However, the tv voice was so loud and clear that Mr. Mx

said "whoa, is that NBC news?"

A long standing news anchor

I present Sue Simmons magic moment

Sue Simmons Drops The F-Bomb - Watch more free videos

****update**** Mx posted this at 11:30am PST it is now 1:15pm and NBC is pulling these videos as fast as they can find them.....

Saturday, May 10, 2008


Mx interrupts her (thousand page novel) to bring you

breaking news....
A phenomenon has happened in the blogging world folks, Mx thinks this must be a first for any personal blogger.

got Fourteen THOUSAND (thousand, thousand, thousand) comments on her post yesterday. All because she ran a little contest...(as she is want to do). Usually, it is some sort of 'name this picture' and lots of clever and not so clever comments boosts her numbers up into the thousands, but nothing close to 14! thousand.

It was the prize she offered.... are you ready? A Nikon D80 digital camera (plus some sort of printer to which Mx didn't pay much attention because she was so focused on the NIKON D80 digital camera)..... Mx immediately broke both her wrists caused by the lightning speed used to leave a comment on said contest. It wasn't really a comment.... just had to leave your website address. It seems Pioneer Woman has a site that randomly picks the winner. It's the luck of the draw on Monday. Wish Mx luck..
fourteen thousands comments...... ?????

editorial note:
While Mx finds Pioneer Women a charming and delightful read
Lately she has discovered these two funny ladies and so added them to the list of people Mx doesn't know.
by the way, I found them thru remember her? Who Knew?
They write some pretty clever/awesome blog stuff, but OMG... some of their comments here just leave Mx laughing her way out the door.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Wintry mood

Madame x was perusing Border's recently, looking for videos for him. She accidently landed in the book section (which is oddly what ,Tom and Louis Border has in mind back in 1971....BOOKS....not videos and coffee and jigsaw puzzles and keychains.) While briskly walking through the book section Mx's eye caught this----------->

She had to stop and pull it from the shelf... and it spoke to her (much like the last two biscotti in the tin.... in the pantry...... on the top shelf..... hidden behind the three year old box of dog biscuits).

Book: "Remember Pillars of the Earth? How you didn't want it to end, how you ignored family and friends for seventy-two hours because it was a story with a life force of its own? Remember how you snarled and scurried into the bathroom and locked the door when those family and friends ventured close, trying to pull you from its grip? Well, you are in luck.....Verily, I AM THE SEQUEL and baby it's cold outside. Take me home and snuggle up with me."

If Madame x goes dark for a few days...... Not to worry

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

WRONG...... to write

Madame x is having a hard time getting with the lingo...

phrases such as:
Tight, snap, snizzle, whizzle, my fizzle, my bad, True dat, oh HELL to the no, your mom, word, OWNED!, Random, whatev, Out of the box, so gay, You go girl, "....and I'm all......., and then she's all......., and then I'm all......" , prolly, for reals, bling bling and bling

This is the conversation Mx thought she heard in the grocery store today.....

"Then I'm all, Oh Snap, Dude! I say"whatev" all the time, but hey my bad. I straight up like to say it 'cause it's hella tight and bangin. But you all say "oh hell to the no" with that, 'cause it's so gay and I keep thinking that's HOT,dude....That's so random! So dont go there, girlfriend".. Fo Shizzle dizzle on the bling bling...it's all good.. Ya feel me? Fo real "

Mx sez....not
This..... is owned

Monday, May 05, 2008


This is the back yard of Madame x's house.... behind the climbing roses sits the backyard of the wild and crazy barking dingo dogs. The very dogs that Mx had to call the animal regulation department about THREE times in order for something to be done. On the side, is the backyard of the wind chimes. The four wind chimes that jingle jangle all thru the night to lull our company to slumberland in the wee hours of the morning. On the opposite side of the yard is a street. A street that interesting, provocative, alarming and jaw dropping things take place, also in the wee hours of the morning.

Well, guess what....

Last week the wind chimes were removed...poof...gone...and not at the request of anyone in Madame x's household. Then..... yesterday, the biggest U-Haul truck on the face of the earth, loaded up the back neighbors and by evening the place was vacated. Dogs....Furniture.....People.....poof.......GONE....

Life is good

Today is Cinco de Mayo.
The grandparents of Mx were married on this day
eighty five years ago in a little coal mining town in Colorado
which no longer exists.
They were fine hard working people.
This photo was taken in Sept of 1964,
they were putting Mx on a plane headed to college.

People used to dress up (to fly)
Some day Mx will relate
the tale of that harrowing
flight experience

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Worlds 1st billion dollar house

Personally, Mx prefers the Dutch Colonial style

He could go from this

"On the health level, local plants decorate the outdoor patio near the swimming pool and yoga studio. The floor also features an ice room where residents and guests can escape the Mumbai heat to a small, cooled chamber dusted by man-made snow flurries."

..............To this...........

for just a few dollar more...... Dude should totally do it

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Wilshire Blvd

For Christmas last year Madame x received from her secret Santa (whom always turns out to be her sister-in-law....every year...... for ever and ever.......)

a 2008 calender

Not just any calender, a special made, lovingly put together complication of every goofy picture taken of Mx in her formative years. Each month more amazing than the next. This month for example... Mx on her country estate with her parents. Yes, Mx was a country kid, transported from the big city, smack into a one hundred and sixty acre (complete with barn and one 'Ayatollah the Duck'), FARM......

at the tender age of seven years old.

And so, Mx has been waxing nostalgic every time she sits at her desk and looks at that calendar. Mx's formidable and resolute Mother was set on a path to keep her daughter out of baseballs caps and overalls. Her little Mx needed to become learn-ed in the 'finer' and more genteel ways of style and fashion...... This resulted in a twice a year 'shopping' trip to "L.A." the big city. Trips to Wilshire Blvd to sit in a big room whilst hired clerks brought dresses and shoes and straw hats and (yes) gloves...to try on and sort thru and purchase for the ensuing season. This was fine when Mx was uncaring of such things and could just sit and pick at the scabs on her knees and wait for 'lunch', while her mother did the hard work. But, when Mx became a teen....... That's when the trouble began. Mx wanted what the 'trendy' teens were wearing . Things Seventeen magazine proposed no teenager could live without! But Mx was no match for her mother. No new Malls were ventured into for a look at the new 'Judy's' dress shop.... No Capezio flats with cutouts.... No six layers of crinoline slips, no poodle skirts, or chiffon scarves..... It seemed none of this was offered in the stores on Wilshire Blvd.. I hated Wilshire Blvd.

In the end, Mx's (wise) Mother relented a little, but looking back at the photos....

She was right

Friday, May 02, 2008

We love you... Discovery channel

Boom de Yada.... indeed

Enjoy this

and this....

Thursday, May 01, 2008


Madame x is trying so very hard to be as green as possible.

  • No more plastic grocery bags
  • No more running water idly
  • No more Polar Bear hunting.........

So far, Madame x ..... hasn't been able to turn in the big ole Gas Guzzler driving machine....because it is so great for road trips.... but eventually, it will happen.

This site is devoted to the whole going green concept....

Some of the energy saving recommendations :
  • Get a pig to eat your food scraps... (hahahahahahahah.........no)

  • set up a worm farm.... (remind you of a certain jingle?)

give up the 'Beer Refrigerator'..... (Seriously... what has Mx been missing )

But if you give up this....

You might give up this

and everyone would be green with envy

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Wrighteous indignation

Dude needs to dial it back....

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Who knew

Trip is over... but she'd probably still take donations.
Try Here

Madame x is told (by person helping Mx wth her bloggy that she gets a fair amount of reader traffic (more than 4, less than 4000).... and very few of these..... comment on her posts. But they do send emails...

and someone felt Mx should know..... There is a much much better blogger (than Mx) out there who refers to herself in the third person. A Ms Georgia Getz ..... Mx feels obligated to explain.... She knows about Bossy and in fact sent an email of her own to this hilarious and witty and clever house painter and blogger extraordinaire... .

Mx explained to Stella's owner about how she had begun referring to herself in the third for various and sundry reasons....but alas when she followed a comment on Dan's Blog (miss you Dan, hope all is good) Mx somehow landed on This section of her blog (warning....don't go there unless you have lots of time!) and has become a fascinated reader ever since. Obviously, Bossy had long been blogging in the third....waaaaay before Mx even knew what (exactly ) a 'weblog' was. Mx then confessed her 'ahem' plagiaristic style and promised to knock it off if 'said famous person' should so desire.

Madame x did not receive a reply, therefore surmised..... Mx could keep the 'I' and 'me' out of her posts.

and that's the truth Mr. fake.emailaddress@yahoo.com

But keep those emails coming folks

Mx loves them ................she like comments too

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Wednesday Review

No Country For Old Men

  • lets just talk about the movie poster... 'cause it is about as messed up as the actual movie. They put Tommy Lee Jones name under Josh Brolin's picture and vise versa (or as some like to say vi-SA versa).

  • Then they gave the menacing assassin person front billing AND an academy award.

Seriously, how hard is it to walk around on a bad hair day throwing about threatening looks. Mothers all over the world do this daily.

  • If someone in this movie has to get the academy award... Give it to Josh Brolin for having to deal with his character being named "Llewelyn Moss'. Madame x thought they were calling him 'Lu Ellen'. Which would not be a good name.... for a destitute welder..... living in a house trailer..... in a desolated West Texas town.....being hunted down..... by a hired psychopath.

  • Mx tries very hard to pay attention while watching movies, really... Not only did she mess up on the character names, she didn't figure out until half way thru the thing.... that the era was sometime in the 1980's.. Mx just figured everyone drove around in twenty year old cars 'cause they couldn't afford a newer one. Maybe there was some subtitle clue at the very beginning about the date.. Mx didn't see it.

  • Last...they call this an "instant classic"... sorry....but, Madame x hopes not... Madame x declares 'Shrek' an instant classic..

This movie did not get a rating on this site... If you like a storyline doomed to end badly.... with graphic murder and mayhem, this beauty is for you.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

When you just need to grin

This is a public service announcement that began playing on t.v. in the early early 1960's..... so early, it might have been 1959

Madame x used to sing this song to her passengers while driving in her grandmother's hand me down 1953 Mercury sedan.... and we would all laugh like the goofballs we were.......

seat belts? Madame x didn't know anyone that had a car with seat belts.

Now Madame x has two grandsons that literally feel vulnerable and exposed if they are not harnessed into a 5 point flapping strap maze of bucket shaped molded plastic that cost $250.00.

Safety first

mx apologizes for any ear worms she might have created with that 'snappy' little tune

Friday, April 25, 2008


This is Mary

Mary is Madame x’s counterpart in the Grandmother world. She is ‘Nana’ to six beautiful grandchildren , two, of which
are also the grandchildren of Mx

Specifically……These two…

Madame x has enjoyed Mary’s adorable sense of humor….. Partaken of Mary’s fabulous gourmet meals….. Shared love and DNA with two of Mary's beautiful grandsons.

Last year while traveling, Mary suffered a massive brain hemorrhage and collapsed in a Florida airport. The ensuing year was a struggle for recovery. In the early hours of the morning on April 21st, 2008..... Mary slipped away from her earthly confines.

She is now at peace

and her peace, is her family’s peace.

Madame x wishes bad things didn’t happen to good people
Mx loved Mary

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Added to the Roll Call:

Say Hi to Chellie.... She is tucked happily away in the mid-west on a midlife female vision quest, for a new house and a new heartthrob, topped off by a pursuit of peace and purpose.

She will probably be alarmed at first that Madame x "borrowed" this photo from the The Dolphin Cove.. Madame x loves to help herself to pictures on the net.... Oh wait... here is another!!! So very adorable .....enough to make Tom Cruise jump up and down on the sofa....

If you want to see her with a Celebrity... (hummmm... sorta)
You have to go look for yourself
(try here)