Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Watering Cans and Lawn Ornaments

Another 'toy made in China' is recalled: the Robbie Duckie Watering Can is going off the shelf..

Madame x mutters to herself "these suckers should have been recalled for the blatant ugliness ".

Madame x's husband reminds her of the Lawn Goose ornament story. Whereas, Madame x and her husband wandered about the Iowa countryside and marveled at all the cement garden geese, dressed in real clothing folks!.... Every type of garb a goose could imagine.. But, alas it was race season in Knoxville, Iowa.

The majority of these cement statuettes were dressed in black & white checkered bikini's......topped with a modest sunbonnet. Stopping in a charming little antique store, the proprietor (a lovely woman name Myrna) proudly displayed her most prized items for sale....yes....outfits for your Garden/Lawn Goose. Madame x would have documentation of this fact, had her computer not crumped last month...all evidencery photos gone. But Mx did find this on line for you. Go Here or Here

take that! ....................................................and............ that!

Upon returning to the lovely bed and breakfast 'home away from home' where a nice couple charged a ( modest fee) for four days .... Madame x lamented to the breakfast group her discovery of these goofy aberrations for sale. Elegant in her ridicule and sarcasm and on a verbal roll, it was a small tap on the knee from Madame x's husband that made her stop mid-sentence. The young wife across the table, 'blurted out "Where exactly is this shop?" So eager to get there, she literally begged her husband to take her immediately, thereby interrupting a fabulous breakfast feast. There was no doubt, Myrna the shopkeeper was going to have a good sales day.

Madame X thought she had since learned tolerance toward all things in the garden. Obviously, Robbie Duckie set off a latent prejudice.

She repents.

So Iowa, Ohio, Indiana.... knock yourselves out...just be safe out there.


Dan said...

No way! This is happening in the United States of America? In my country?

The horror!

madame x said...

Well, Dan... it isn't exactly happening everywhere in the USofA... for instance, here in California, we are highly evolved...even beyond pink flamingos.. indeed its true.... We are very cool and cutting edge with political signs disparaging anything and anybody...and in the middle of the night, we send our teenagers out to decorate trees with toilet paper.

Oh and we have the neighbors collectively 'vote' on what is appropriate to adorn our lawns.

Anonymous said...

That is so funny. I cracked up when your husband hit your knee to stop you mid sentence!

My teenage niece goes froot looping. This is where you pour froot loops all over someones lawn and then wait for their automatic sprinklers tp come on and "paint the yard." Ah, to be a teen again!

madame x said...

Saly.... okay...you must live in Beverly Hills, 'cause only really rich teenagers could afford the number of boxes of cereal it would take to cover a lawn.

But it's quite a mental image..isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Actually, my niece's best friend (whom taught her 'froot looping') lives in a neighborhood where there are only million dollar homes. It is beyond me what all of these people do to afford such luxury in OKLAHOMA. I certainly canNOT relate.

The concept does sound cool, but I'm not sure it actually works. She's 13 and can talk big. ;)

madame x said...

My SIL grew up Chickasha OK or Altus or some such place

She is CA all he way now...

Anonymous said...

Well, now we know why they say Iowa stands for "Idiots out wandering around." I knew there had to be a reason . . . states don't get ridiculed for nothing!


PS Thanks for your nice comments by the way about my story progression, both on here and on my own site!

captain corky said...

This is exaclty why I only buy Ford.

madame x said...

Corky.... you got into the kryptonite, didn't you

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i love the red had mama one!! ha ha ha

thanks for stopping by...

smiles, bee

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to comment 3X on one post, but madame x, you are the best. You bring a good laugh to me often. That kryptonite comment had me rolling. You are very witty! :)

madame x said...

Hey Em, oddly enough Iowa was the state that developed the SATs... Those must be 'highly intelligent' lawn geese!

saly...thank you! I love you too:)