Wrighteous indignation

Dude needs to dial it back....

Wits End...........

Madame x barely had time to unpack her dirty laundry, before the forces of evil set about their evil forcing ways.

There's a bad moon on the rise, folks

But light dawns in yander tunnel and with luck and latitude Madame x will be back on the computer by next week (mid-week).

As an aside................remember the barking dogs? the dogs are still barking...........

and at the moment

that ........is the least of Madame x's problems.

What did you say?........... salesladyperson

I placed my three items on the counter and offered a cheerful hello. This startled her as she was scrunched beneath the counter rummaging for what? Gold? Nope….it was her lunch. She flashed a look of total annoyance and the voice that matched said “ I’m going to lunch, you’ll need to go to the front”.
Me: Uh, no one is at the front (looking directly at the abandoned front register).
She: There will be, just wait there
Me: Can you call someone?
She: (big sigh, looking around)
Me: I’ll buy your lunch if you’ll just ring these three little items up. (sometimes bribery works)
She: Oh, here! As she grabs a teeny tiny person carrying a S%*t load of ‘Tees’
She to Tinyperson: I’m outta here, help this lady.
Tinyperson: Ohheythosearesocutehereletmesetthisdown…
Me: I actually don’t say anything, as I’m trying to interrupt what she just said (at a glass breaking, speed of light, pitch).
Tinyperson: Ohthesearejustsocuteandreallyreallyreally……forgiving.
Me: Thanks (did she just say I’m fat?)
Tinyperson: Doyouwantthehangerbecauseswerenotsupposetoaskbut.....
Ialwaysliketohavethehangerbecause....(big sigh), ....I live with myboyfriend.
Me: Yes please,
Tinyperson: Okaythenthanksforshoppingat
”BetterBuysandRugBeaters*”comeagainsoon
*name changed to protect the ambivalent


IhateshoppingreallyIdo

Watches

This is my second best watch. Last year the battery quit and I took it to a jeweler (one that was unknown to me).

The jeweler had some trouble getting the back plate off and took it into another room. He appeared a few minutes later with my watch and handed it to me. It was running again. He motions for my arm and placed the watch on my wrist, stating:

"No charge for nice lady, maybe you come back....
buy diamonds, Yes?"

I told him I’d like to pay for the battery at least. He waved me off again saying no. I thanked him and left.

Walking to my car, I pulled my keys from a side pocket, glancing at my watch, I see, it is not attached to the little bar thingy that slides in the holder thingy. When I looked closer, to my dismay I realized it was not attached because it was broken off. So I U-turned back into the store and showed the watch to the same gentleman. To which he said:

"oops, you break. " (Oh.... really?)

To laser down the story, I will tell you....he would not, in any way, shape or form own up to breaking that watch, thereby eliminating any possibility of me buying diamonds...from him...

ever.

The watch is in my (brand new) jewelry chest, waiting for Godot.

Wig Out!

I have an account at a very friendly little local bank. It's a first name basis..... how's your mom........ 'sure let me get that for you'...kind of bank.

One of the tellers keeps a glass bowl which holds an orange betta fish (beta?). There is also some type of aquatic plant with orange glass rocks courtesy of Michael's, scattered at the bottom...

That orange betta fish, is one psychotic dude. lurking in the root structure of the plant, darting in and out if he thinks you are getting "in his space". I try not to make 'eye contact' with the little goofball.

UNTIL TODAY....

In preparation for a trip to see the kids and grandkids, I got out the 'Nemo' key ring I received as a gift from grandson last Christmas. I clipped Nemo onto my keys and set out to take care of errands. Those of you who are familiar with Betas, know where this is going, I had no clue. My first stop was the bank, stepping up to the teller with the fish bowl and set my key chain on the counter next to the fish. Happy, friendly nemo landing face forward to the fish bowl.
I don't think I have the words to do justice to the ensuing drama. This fish began furiously slamming against the bowl, aiming for Nemo! Knocking over his plant, creating a small tidal wave and propelled! his little body right out of the bowl. "Lester!" exclaimed the teller (he had a name? who knew)...."Don't you know these fish are territorial! Please remove your keys.." complete with a surly look, directed at me.... as she scoops him up and puts him back in the bowl.
Okay, well he was floating a little suspiciously when I left (like lifeless).. I walked over to Pet Central and discovered 'orange' betas are $3.95 each.... blue are only 'a buck'.... I wonder if a timid blue beta would have been so freaked about an orange Nemo. Clearly, Lester was an Alpha Beta.....

you just can't make this stuff up....